The Big Announcement

Well since my last post there have been some very fun things happen in our little family.

One being the announcement of an addition.  

We are expecting in late November.

Now as with every life changing decision there is a lot to think about.  

This pregnancy especially.

Early in the blog I wrote about my desire to be real on my blog 

and not just be rosy and sunny!

So this post is a little sweet and sour.

Although I am Very excited to have another little soul join our family . . .

 - I AM SCARED - 

Some days just the thought of having three babies,

makes me sit down and take a moment to get a hold on myself.

There are days when My 3 year old tells me over and over 

she does not want any more screaming babies in her house.

(and I just about sit down and bawl)

 

There are days when I feel blessed that we can even have babies. 

(There are so many couples who struggle to even conceive.) 

There are days when I wished that people didn't equate my 

skinny pregnancy with a healthy pregnancy!

(apparently because I'm skinny I must not be having any trouble or 

feel like I'm carrying a watermelon, OK so maybe right now just a basketball.)

There are days when I know in my heart this baby already belongs to this family!

There are days when I marvel at the things that come out 

of peoples mouths to pregnant women!!!!

(aka. when someone announces she is pregnant it is probably best 

NOT to tell her you knew it all along? 

So am I fat or do I look like death warmed over 

and should just head back to bed.)

There are days when I watch my girls play together and laugh so hard I cry.

 

There are days when I want a poster that reads.  

"I am hoping for a healthy baby with no delivery complications.  

So please do not ask me if I am hoping for a boy or a girl!!

There are moments when I catch my 3 year old admiring a baby. 

(Although she tries to pretend she isn't)

There are days when I just wish my body and my babies 

would simply let me sleep through the night.

There are days when I am o.k. with letting go of all the guilt 

when my house is in shambles.

There are days when I wish I had something tactless to say back

when people tell me I look tired and should sit down!! 

(besides a sarcastic THANKS)

There are days when I realize and am in awe at the process my body 

and this baby's body go through in a short 9 months.  

(Freaking biological miracle that's what babies are!!)

There are days when I look at my pile of dirty dishes in the sink, 

the cheerios on the kitchen floor and the piles of laundry sitting all over my house 

that I sit down and decide, Tomorrow is soon enough.

There are days when I do not regret my decision to stay home with my children 

and be their caregiver all day and all night!! 

(I do however feel that I have been working an 80hr work week)

There are days when I am simply grateful that when I fell asleep on the couch for 

20 minutes my 3 year old did not kill or harm herself in any way.

There are days when I want to proudly state that "Rearing Children is NOT a Science!" 

(and burn all the free parenting magazines that are geared more towards 

advertizing and promoting breastfeeding than actually helping parents cope)

There are often days when I start feeling my husbands 

60hrs/week work/commitment schedule.

 

There are days when I want to scream out loud 

"MY HEALTHY HAPPY CHILDREN BOTH

DRANK INFANT FORMULA, 

NURSING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!!!" 

There are days when I feel completely overwhelmed by the 

enormity of my responsibility as a mother.

But there are also days when I know I have been blessed so much

 as a mother to understand the responsibility and the opportunity 

that being a mother brings my way.  

To learn and teach so much more about love and forgiveness and 

being Christlike than I knew was possible. 

To learn that Daddies have it rough too.

(Just because they are not delivering a baby does not mean 

they do not feel the weight of their responsibility!!)

To learn that I am not alone in this awesome enterprise 

of raising "good" kids.  

(there will always be that triangle of support between 

Myself, my Husband and my Heavenly Father.)

In Short - having this baby causes some inner turmoil - 

but with a little patience I am hoping to turn it 

into a whole bunch of growth!!

Real Family

So Posting pictures of my little family in my last post

and talking about being real reminded me of a concept
THE ONE PICTURE!

YOU KNOW - the perfect picture where everyone is sitting still!!
The one that looks something like this.


With my family well that just doesn't happen
but I do have a Problem - I AM DESPERATE to print this one
Super Large and hang it in my front room!!


This is my real family
this is how we are and how crazy life is right now!!

I admit that I hesitate due to cultural norms
and trendy photography styles right now!!

But This photo speaks of all the things that happened that day
how tired i was running back and forth (using a timer),
how happy the girls were,
and how glad Shane was to have time off.

That is the family I want to remember!!

Being Real

I read an article today that made me think about the purpose of this blog

and wonder if even in the short time I have been contributing -
have I really been contributing??

I decided that a great way to make this more of a contribution
would be to make c0nfessions every now and then -
Showing how INSANELY human I am.
And that underneath all the happy posts there is
an equal dose of the absurd, strange, and down right draining!!

Things like getting angry at Ms. A and dragging her
down to her bedroom kicking and screaming
so that I can get myself under control and be a better parent!!

Things like my kitchen being decidedly dirty
while i craft away, sew or play with my kids,
or my sisters, or my friends!

Things like my angry tired voice at 3am
asking Ms. E to go back to sleep
when she has decided that only I can hold her. . . . .
and rock her . . . and hold her . . . and sing . . . and rock her . . .
and two hours later she still needs me to rock her endlessly
and when after I realize its 530 in the morning, I bawl my eyes out
while I rock her for another 30 minutes and when she is finally back asleep
and I crawl back into bed completely exhausted,
MY ADORABLE Husband's alarm goes off at 6:20
which he snoozes five times before his sluggish brain
begins to understand that its INCREDIBLY ANNOYING!!!!

Things like feeling incredibly lonely during long nights
while my husband works, goes to school, plays hockey, puts in overtime,
volunteers, and fulfills his incredible Young Mens calling!!

Things like I have mounds of unmet expectations about myself,
my abilities as a wife, mother, and home maker.

Things like I struggle every day to feel like I am staying close to
My Heavenly Father and My Savior.

All of this Makes me A HUMAN! Ta Da!!

I get angry at my kiddo's, I get frustrated at my husband,
my house is always messy, and getting even one night a month
to have my own without the kiddo's and husband means that
I get to go to Relief Society Meeting!!

So Bottom line is this:
Along with all the wonderful things that I have in my life
like said husband, and kiddo's, and said dirty house,


I also need to BE REAL about
the challenges and heartaches that come my way as well!!

Welcome To REAL LIFE!!
And the REAL ME!!